The Town That Dreaded Sundown 2014

Cast:

• Addison Timlin as Jami Lerner
• Travis Tope as Nick Strain
• Veronica Cartwright as Lillian, Jami's grandmother
• Gary Cole as Chief Deputy Tillman
• Joshua Leonard as Deputy Foster

Director: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon

Plot: A masked maniac terrorizes the same, small community where the infamous  murderer, known as the Phantom Killer,  carried out his horrific crimes  decades earlier

Masks, I do love a masked killer!.

There's a large resurgence of 80's style slasher flicks at the moment. This one is part remake part sequel to the 1976 film of the same name. It follows on from those events but also recognises the film was made of so we have the sometimes clever idea of a film within a film! I say sometimes because a lot of the time this concept doesn't work. Thankfully, this time it does, mostly.

Damn pesky kids.

So, just like the last review, It Follows, let's start by saying the look of this film is stunning. This is another director who knows how to set up a shot and the 80's feel is superbly handled. The film quickly introduces us to our main character, Jami, a small town teenager, not enjoying the horror movie she is viewing at the local drive-in with her boyfriend. They leave to go park up and do what teenagers do and what do you know, the serial killer is back. It's a great throwback scene to the best slasher films of years past.

Hands up!

The next hour or so follows the usual formula to most slasher films, people are picked off, cops suspect the wrong people, more teens park up to kiss and cuddle, all though there is a brave  twist to this in that it's a boy - boy encounter which further shows the director knows that your expecting one thing and he delivers the opposite. The kills are mostly done very well and the main antagonist is creepy enough and has just enough menace about him.

Spooky font, awesome!

We quickly find ourselves at the climax to the film and this is where it falls down just ever-so slightly. It's true to most 80's pics that the killer is unmasked and the reveal is a shock, and that's the case here, but it still felt like a bit of an anti climax. Maybe because I had enjoyed the previous hour and a half so much I was more disappointed that is was almost over, but I couldn't help feel that it needed just something else. What? I don't know, but it did. Maybe. All in all though a great movie. Stunning visually, great acting, and no recent movie has captured the feel of the 80's as well as this!

Summary:

 Great because:

• Actors were spot on
• Practical effects, you'll never beat them
• The movie in a movie concept worked
• Great masked killer

 Crap because:

• Ending fizzled out just a tad. Maybe.

Hamster Rating: 

Gore: 3

Scares: 3

It Follows 2015

Cast:

• Maika Monroe as Jaime "Jay" Height
• Keir Gilchrist as Paul
• Olivia Luccardi as Yara
• Lili Sepe as Kelly Height
• Daniel Zovatto as Greg Hannigan

Director: David Robert Mitchell

Plot: After a sexual encounter, Jaime Height is pursued by a supernatural entity,  that her friends cannot see or hear. It's up to them all to stop it!

Damn pesky kids.

A new and original idea for a horror movie? Do what? Yeah, that's right, a completely new take on the old story of a supernatural stalker. Let me start of by saying this is a small, low budget, independent film. Secondly let me say this, this film looks absolutely stunning. The director, David Mitchell,  is a future big hitter, no question. The entire cast do a wonderful job and Miss Monroe is a star in the making. The film is probably set in the late 80s, its never really revealed, and the suburban style is fantastic. The cinematography is the best I've seen in horror for years.

She'll catch more than a cold.

So Jaime has sex for the first time with her boyfriend in the back of his car.  Moments after he chloroforms her and she wakes in an abandoned warehouse bound to a chair. He tells her that he has passed on the "disease" and she will now be pursued by a relentless being who will try to kill her, and it will not stop until she passes it to another, via the act of nookie nookie. Pretty crazy yeah? Well yeah but because its played so straight and serious, and because when the entity does show up its absolutely terrifying, the whole thing works to a tee.

 That'll get infected!

The film flows and grips you right from the start. Because you never know when, or what in what form, the evil will strike you are constantly on edge, waiting. Is it the old lady across the street? Is it the young boy behind you? It could be anyone and because of this you get a lot of tension. Now, this is an arty type of film, lots of dialogue and build up but when this thing does show up the minimal CGI effects are top notch, putting lots of big budget movies to shame!

Peekaboo!!!!

The film races to a fantastic climax as Jaime and her friends prepare for the final confrontation with the evil being. The nice little twist at the films end is also a nice touch and could lead to a sequel but to be honest, this film is so original and so well done it should be left to stand on its own. An absolute gem of a film and hats of to everyone involved. Directors and writers of horror should all watch this film to see that you don't need vast sums of money or countless CGI or gore shots to create something special. I cannot recommend this film enough. Nice one!

Summary:

 Great because:

• Actors are amazing
• Limited effects are spot on
• Completely original
• Beach attack scene? No thank you

 Crap because:

• I didn't write it

Hamster Rating: 

Gore: 1

Scares: 4

The Ghoul 2015

Cast:

• Jennifer Armour as Jenny
• Jeremy Isabella as Ethan
• Paul S. Tracey as Rayn
• Alina Golovlyova as Katarina
• Inna Belikova as Inna

Plot:  An American film crew heads off to Kiev to interview the locals regarding historic cannibalism. Once there confirmed they are introduced to a local witch, who explains that supernatural forces were responsible. Whilst carry out a  seance, the crew summons the spirit of killer and cannibal, Andrei Chikatilo, who was active in the area in the late 1970s and 1980s. Chikatilo begins his spree again

Hmmmmm, cannibalism, OK. I haven't seen too many films regarding eating other people, unless you count porn, but this one is a found footage movie and if there's one thing I love, its found footage! The film gets going straight away, with our American docu-film makers arriving in Ukraine and meeting their creepy guide and his translator daughter. The war ravished location, and slightly simple locals gives it an immediate Deliverance vibe which works well.

No, its not Croydon.

Soon enough our friends and their guide have arrived at a deserted, semi derelict, farm house, with the local witch joining them who reckons supernatural forces were responsible for Chikatilo's crimes. Sure enough, as soon as the sun goes down, they get drunk and one of them suggests doing a seance! Yup, they're in cliché city!

Don't scratch the fuc#king table!

All sounds pretty bog standard yeah? Well it is but its all done OK. Nothing outstanding but more then watchable and the whole cast are pretty good. A few jumps later and the sun has risen, the guide has vanished and the glass used on the ouiji board sits, still upturned, on the table with the witch claiming that the spirit raised by the group the previous night, was under the glass and was gonna prevent anyone from leaving alive!

Underground mayhem ensues!

So now we get the usual night vision jump scares and it goes pretty run of the mill until 20 minutes from the end the film heads underground which is always garunteed scares! The effects are nice, the sense of claustrophobia underground is awesome and the ending just about lifts the film from the gutter in to a mid table winner. All in all a nice, well shot independent, found footage film. The actors were above average and the unique location helps me to recommend this film too anyone who likes found footage, cannilbilistic, Ukrainian ghost stories with nice twists.

Summary:

 Great because:

• Actors do a good job
• Effects are pretty effective
• It goes underground!
• Buried alive? No thank you

 Crap because:

• It could have been scarier
• No gore to be found, not that it needed it

Hamster Rating:

Gore: 1

Scares: 3



Salem's Lot 1975

Cast:

• David Soul as Ben Mears
• James Mason as Richard Straker
• Lance Kerwin as Mark Petrie
• Bonnie Bedelia as Susan Norton
• Lew Ayres as Jason Burke

Plot:  A writer named Ben Mears  returns to the town where he lived as a boy (Jerusalem's Lot, or 'Salem's Lot for short) in Maine, to discover that the residents are all becoming vampires!

Right then, a real classic revisited! David Soul and James Mason, amoungst others, what could go wrong? I can remember being forced to watch this at the age of 8, 9 or 10 and being so scared lying in bed waiting for the scratching to start at the windows! Originally shot as a 4 hour, 2 part TV mini series, the version I watched was the 3 hour edit. There is also a 2 hour version witch was released in European cinemas.

Classic Soul man.

Let's get this out the way first. This is dated. Long hair, flares, corny dialogue, its 1975 for Christ's sake. That being said, David Soul never looked so cool. The hammy acting from James Mason is just that, hammy, but this just adds to the creepy atmosphere of the whole thing, and creepy it is. Young boys are killed. Mothers of young, murdered boys are killed. Husbands of mothers of young murdered boys are killed. People drop like flies and it's all down to pesky vampires which breed like rabbits!

Lock those windows!

The vampires and the vampire effects are great, even by today's standards. Directed by the legendary Tobe Hooper, of Poltigiest fame, the sight and sounds of the monsters hovering outside the window as the fog swirls around them is nerve shredding. These are classic vampires too! Shove a crucifix on to their forehead and woosh, they disappear, wailing and screeching. Show them some Hawthorne or holy water and they'll brick it, big time. They are exactly what a true vampire should be.

Look at those gnashers!.

The long, TV format, run time means we get a lot of characters and so a lot of sub plots, but they're all done well and are never boring. The makeup on Reggie Nalder is fantastic and a nod to Max Schreck's Nosfertu and is a joy to behold. The film builds up to a wonderful climax as our heroes go in to the beasts lair, in this case the large creepy house and I can garuntee that by the time Detective Kenneth Hutchinson gets to the cellar, you'll be right on the very edge of your seat. An absolute must for any real horror fan, ignore the large collars and it don't get much better than this!

Summary:

 Great because:

• David Soul and James Mason
• Effects are faithful to folklore
• It just goes on and on
• The window scene, no thank you

 Crap because:

• Hard to find the full, uncut version
• The dog dies, needlessly

Hamster Rating:

Gore: 2

Scares: 4.5



The House of the Devil (2009)

Plot: In the 1980s, college student Samantha Hughes takes a strange babysitting job that coincides with a full lunar eclipse. She slowly realizes her clients harbor a terrifying secret; they plan to use her in a satanic ritual.

Hmmmm, ok, a small independent movie. "Uh oh" I hear you say, "they're shit". Well this one isn't. It isn't perfect by a long shot but it does lots of things right. First off, Jocelin Donahue as Samantha, in the lead role, is superb. She oozes the 80's charm and is spot on in her role. Very well done.

She's bloody good in this.

The whole film is enjoyable due to the fact it's set in the 80's. From the clothes to the walkman, everything is great and takes you back, depending on your age, to growing up with a brick playing music in your pocket. Certain scenes, like the dance montage, could have come straight out of 80's classics like Flash Dance. I'll stop mentioning the 80's vibe now, but it really is very good.

Better shake n vac.

So, the movie starts off slowly and stays that way for almost an hour. A slow, atmospheric build up to the impending doom you know is just round the corner but maybe should arrive a tad sooner. When it does it's quite a grusome shock. Bang straight out the blue it makes you think "here we go" but it dosen't quite get in to 5th gear. Everyone does a great job with their roles but the movie as a whole feels sluggish and you find yourself wanting to jab it with a red hot stick. Or a sharp fork. Either would do.

That would make me gag.

The last third of the film is very reminiscent of an old Hammer film. No real scares, a little bit of tension and some ropey effects. All of this indicates the movie would suck large yeti bollocks but it dosen't. It's because the whole cast, and the feel of the film, are so good and so sort of old school that you forgive it all it's shortcomings and just sort of enjoy it. The camera work is good, the lighting is fantastic and you kind of want it to last a bit longer than it does, but you don't know why you want more.

Grrrrrrrrr.

So the film ends and you expect the end credits of Tales of the Unexpected to start playing. But they don't. Even the credits have a retro feel about them and this is how I would sum this all up. A retro, old school, tv-like, horror movie. No real scares, no jumpy scenes, not much happens and you'll probably forget it in a few days. However, whilst watching it you'll be gripped and unable to look away. You'll want the girl to survive cos you like her. Your be sad some of them died. And you certainly wont guess the final scene.

Summary:

 Great because:

• Cast are really very good
• Captures the 80's perfectly
• Old school Hammer vibe going on
• Unexpected ending

 Crap because:

• Very slow build up
• Needed a few decent jumps

Hamster Rating: 4

Gore: 1.5

Scares: 2

Deadgirl (2008)

Plot: Rickie and J.T.  are two high school seniors who gaze at the girls they wish they could get, especially JoAnn, the object of Rickie's affection, whom he has known since he was a child. One day, they decide to cut class and end up in an abandoned insane asylum. They discover a mute, naked woman in the basement, chained to a table. While J.T. is interested in raping her, Rickie refuses and leaves. J.T. confronts Rickie the next day, and the two return to the basement where J.T. reveals that the woman is undead, which he discovered after fruitlessly attempting to kill her three times.

Hmmm, another film that I have wanted to see for over a year. The concept is original and certainly different. Does it work though. Yeah it does. The young cast are very good. Especially the two main leads. One a quiet, repressed soul, the other the typical trailer trash kind you get in America's back waters.

Not in with the in crowd, no way.

The movie dosen't take long to get to the action, and once it does it's a disturbing yet riverting ride. Special mention needs to go to the girl playing the zombie. She's naked throughout the movie but does such a great performance that you soon forget your looking at a naked actress and she her as a rather pathetic animal. Liked a caged bear in those nasty adverts, you want to save her from the nasty college kids who treat her like a plastic sex doll.

Stop it, she's dead for christ sake.

Once the crowd start building up to abuse the "girl" you know there's gonna be trouble. The cock biting scene is a nasty one but your still rooting for the zombie, not the humans.  The twist is excellent. I didn't see it coming and is very cleverly worked out by the film makers. The occasional humour, albeit very dark, works really well too. The gas station kidnapping scene is brilliant.

She aint happy, she's my zombie.

The movie runs along at a good pace and there are no boring bits of needless character development. You care for them, sure, but you don't root for them. Untill the twist. But thats the twist. Clever stuff.

All in all, this is a great movie. Very well acted, really tense and beautifully filmed at times. The dark basement could have looked like someones garage but it gives off a great atmosphere. It's original, haunting and funny at times, but only when it should be. Thumbs up to all involved. Fingers up to Hollywood.

Summary:

 Great because:

• Cast are wicked
• Effects are great for a low budget affair
• Original
• Great Twist

 Crap because:

• Needed a bigger budget but thats nit picking really

Hamster Rating: 4

Gore: 3

Scares: 2.5



Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Plot: On Christmas Eve in Finland, Santa Claus is unearthed in an archaeological dig. Soon after, children start disappearing, leading a boy and his father to capture Santa and, with the help of fellow hunters, they look to sell him back to the corporation that sponsored the dig. And then there's Santa's elves, who are determined to free their leader...

Ok, this is my first Finnish film. After watching, and loving, the Troll Hunter, I decided to give this a go having heard good things about it. Yes, it is set at Christmas time but that dosen't matter, horror is horror all year round. So is it any good? It's raindeer-tastic. Read on....

Santa and shotguns, nice combo.

The film starts out with the english speaking diggers but after 5 minutes or so it switches to the films own language, Finnish. Now, just like the Trol Hunter, the Fins sound a lot like the swedish chef from the muppet show and this will put some people off but seeing as I am not a racist I overlooked this and got on with reading the subtitles. The cast are all great. From the young kids to the rough, gruff adults, everyone does very well. The main lad,

Pietari Kontio does look a little bit mongoloid but he's Finnish so he probably is a little dur-brain. He is however, a very good actor.

Mongoloid, he was a mongoloid! 

The tension builds up nice and quickly in this film. The scenery is stunning and it all has a very high production value look to it. After learning that mongoloid boys mother has died and it's just him and he's dad, we then get on to the horror. This is where the film left me confused and surprised. You see, this film isn't really a horror. Sure it has a horror theme, missing children being boiled alive, a demonic Santa with horns of a goat and hundreds of evil elves running round with their penises flopping about but really this is a kind of family action adventure. A really good one too, but not a horror.

You dirty old man.

The elves are great though. Very creepy. And there is moments of good tension and mild peril. The story is great and very original and this is once again showing boring old Hollywood that there are new stories to be told and that you don't have to make remake after remake.

Let's catch us some Claus.

So the film gets to the last 10 minutes after some nice creepy moments, and nice bit of humour ( which comes over really well seeing as it's in Finnish ) and some solid acting. Then comes the crazy arsed ending. It goes all CGI and fantasy like on you when your not expecting it at all. The only thing is, it works really well. If you ignore the hundred or so floppy cocks on the screen, this is classic fairy tale, happy endings and it should have you smiling. I was. Not at the cock though, uuugghhhh, no way.

All in all, this was another example of smaller countries showing us that great movies don't need to cost $100 million or come from America. Everything about this film screams American remake, with Spielberg at the helm, although probably with a lot less Pork Swords on screen. It dosen't need a remake, it's great as it is and it's a real shame that this won't be seen by many people because it isn't in english, but I can only, whole heartedly recommend it. It's the breath of fresh air the movies need. Lot's of cock though, yuk.

Summary:

 Great because:

• Cast are excellent
• One or two creepy moments
• Original and new
• Feel good ending

 Crap because:

• More of a family film then horror
• Could have been a tad darker
• More schlong then your avergae porn movie

Hamster Rating: 4

Gore: 1

Scares: 1